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How a Felon Sabotaged Her Dream of Becoming a Doctor | Iyanla: Fix My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network

How a Felon Sabotaged Her Dream of Becoming a Doctor | Iyanla: Fix My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network
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    IYANLA VANZANT: Let me ask you this.
    What did you want to be when you were a little girl?
    TAII: An obstetrician.
    Obstetrician. Wanted to be a doctor?
    In the crack house wanting to be a doctor, and what won over?
    What won out?
    Tryin' to be, uh, like a part of everything.
    I had gotten accepted into a- a good school,
    a really good school in the city and I made my mother.
    I knew that I could, like, manipulate her because
    she was always high, so I made her.
    See, that's her ownership right there.
    I used to manipulate my mother. To get what?
    To transfer me to the zone school that all of my friends were goin' to
    and once I did that it's like I just started failin' like miserably,
    hookin' school, not goin', bein' rebellious, doin' whatever—
    Why? Why? Why did you want to be with your friends?
    (overlapping) Because I wanted to get away with it.
    But why did you want to be with your friends
    when your dream was to be an obstetrician?
    What happened? It's not up here, baby. It's in here.
    Close your eyes and go into your heart. That's where your freedom is.
    Close your eyes. Yeah, and take a breath.
    (inhales deeply)
    Why be with your friends as opposed to be an obstetrician?
    I don't know. I just--
    (overlapping) No, you do know. You can't not know.
    I don't know. I feel like I probably wanted to be accepted or
    I didn't want to miss anything or I wanted to get the attention
    that I wasn't gettin' at home, maybe. I don't know.
    How 'bout to be an obstetrician, was that dream too far and too big?
    Take a breath. So let me ask you this question.
    When did you give up on yourself?
    Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just keep breathin'. Let it come out.
    I promise you, you can feel bad and recover. I promise you, you can.
    You can. But we gonna own this so that we can heal it.
    When did you give up on yourself?
    Don't shake your head no, 'cause you have. Taii, you gave up on yourself.
    It was a long time ago.
    Yeah. Tell me how old.
    Tell me how old. Can you see the face?
    (overlapping) I was a child.
    Close your eyes.
    Can you see her face? Can you feel her terror?
    How old were you when you gave up on yourself?
    Fourteen, thirteen.
    (overlapping) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
    Tell me what happened. Stay in there. Ride it out.
    I just felt like that I didn't have anybody
    that was goin' to (sniffles) support anything…
    (sobs) …that I wanted to do.
    Yeah. And it was too hard for too long.
    You understand that, don't you, Miss Matilda?
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