Trump's Mother's Day Message, LeBron James Remembers Everything - Monologue

Trump's Mother's Day Message, LeBron James Remembers Everything - Monologue
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    -I hope you all had a good Mother's Day yesterday.
    Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.
    [ Cheers and applause ]
    A lot of people -- A lot of people celebrated.
    I saw that President Trump made a Mother's Day video
    where he called his mom a great person,
    really warm and really smart.
    [ Laughter ]
    Which can only mean one thing -- Trump was adopted.
    [ Laughter and applause ]
    And you go, "What? I didn't know that."
    I didn't know that.
    Trump released a video message for Mother's Day
    where he called his mom warm but also tough.
    Then, he released another video
    where he said the same thing about thin-crust pizza.
    [ Laughter and applause ]
    "It's warm, but it's tough."
    Let's get to some news.
    Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said that Kim Jong-un
    watches American TV and probably watches Fox News.
    [ Audience Oohs ]
    Then, Kim was like, "Sorry, but I only watch 'Riverdale.'"
    "Okay? And no spoilers."
    [ Laughter and applause ]
    And get this -- a lot of people think the U.S.
    might be starting a trade war with China.
    But this weekend, Trump tweeted, "Be cool. It'll all work out."
    [ Laughter ]
    In a related story, the President --
    the President may have just discovered weed.
    [ Laughter and applause ] "Be cool.
    Be cool, dude.
    Be cool, bro." -"What up, bro?"
    [ Laughter and applause ]
    -Check this out. Rudy Giuliani said that
    lately Trump has only been eating half the bun
    on his burgers to be healthier. [ Laughter ]
    And also because Trump knows that if he grabs a full bun,
    he's gonna owe it $130,000. -Oh!
    -Just don't grab the -- -Don't grab the buns.
    Half the bun. -Think outside the bun.
    [ Laughter ]
    -We want to send our best to Melania Trump,
    who's doing well after having kidney surgery.
    When the doctor said she can go home in a few days,
    she was like, "Let's not rush it."
    [ Laughter and applause ]
    "Make sure."
    Some sports news. Yesterday, the Cleveland Cavaliers
    lost game one of the Eastern Conference finals
    to the Boston Celtics.
    And after the game, LeBron James was asked
    what happened at one point during the fourth quarter.
    And he gave a very, very detailed answer.
    Check out what he was able to remember.
    -Do you have any idea what --
    I mean, I think they scored seven quick ones.
    Anything -- What happened there?
    -The first possession, we ran them down all the way
    to two on the shot clock.
    Marcus Morris missed a jump shot,
    followed it up, they got a dunk.
    And we came back on the defensive end and we got a stop.
    They look it out on the sideline.
    Jayson Tatum took the ball out,
    threw it to Marcus Smart in the short corner.
    He made a 3.
    We come back down, miss another shot.
    Tatum came down and went 94 feet,
    did a Euro step, made a right-hand layup, time-out.
    -Yeah. [ Laughter ]
    Impressive. -Yeah.
    -Wow! Wow.
    Well, it didn't stop there.
    LeBron actually kept talking. Here's what he said.
    [ Laughter ]
    [ Laughter ]
    [ Laughter ]
    [ Laughter ]
    [ Cheers and applause ]
    Incredible -- Incredible memory.
    -Steel trap! -Unbelievable.
    -King James. -Wow.
    [ Cheers and applause ]
    Guys, I saw that Starbucks just announced
    that now anyone can use its restrooms,
    even if they haven't bought anything.
    [ Cheers and applause ]
    Then everyone was like, "Cool.
    So we'll just continue doing what we're doing.
    All right." [ Laughter and applause ]
    That's what we always do anyway, yeah.
    And, finally, this isn't good.
    Chili's just reported that their data was breached
    and customer information may have gotten out.
    'Course, Chili's customers are pretty upset.
    They're like...
    ♪♪ "I want my data back, data back, data back ♪♪
    ♪♪ I want my data" ♪♪ We have a great show.
    Give it up for The Roots, everybody!
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