Game of Zones - S5E6 - Poorzingis

Game of Zones - S5E6 - Poorzingis
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    [crow cawing]
    Ser Kristaps, are you excited about your new Lord Commander Fizdale?
    Looks like House Knicks won't be getting rooked any time soon. Huh?
    [crow cawing]
    Fizdale hates European big men!
    Don't listen to it
    Crows are all liars
    [crow cawing]
    Joakim Noah has a shit contract
    Well, OK, not all crows
    I know a story about a bird
    His name was Larry, and his hair was fair just like yours
    But he had a third eye that could see into the future
    Also a bad back
    I hate your stories
    I know a story about a child who hated stories
    I also know a story about a Chris Childs who punched Kobes
    I could tell you about Ser Ewing the Sweaty
    Those were always your favorite
    Those weren't my favorites
    I could tell you the tale of Starbury shaggin' in his wagon with the marketing apprentice
    Is this the sort of salacious and flirtatious story you like?
    Maybe you'd like a scary story
    [scoffs] Think you can scare me, Walt...Clyde...whatever your name is?
    There is nothing more frightening than being the second option to Carmelo in the triangle
    Oh, my sweet Latvian child
    What do you know about fear?
    Fear is for the elders who've suffered through the entire reign of James Dolan
    Fanlings are born and live and die, all without seeing a playoff win or a decent draft pick
    It was in this darkness
    that Isiah Thomas gave a 5-year contract to Jerome "Big Snacks" James
    That is the time for fear, my lanky lord
    Watching Stephon Marbury, Steve Francis and Jamal Crawford
    three shoot-first guards—try to coexist in the same backcourt
    Draft picks busting in their cribs
    Bloated contracts for bloated players
    Women smothered their babies
    rather than see them watch Eddy Curry get paid 60 million gold
    to eat freakin' lemon cakes on the bench
    And don't get me started with Bargnani!
    Fear is for Lord Dolan playing lute,
    and having to tell him he's razzlin' and dazzlin' when inside you're crying and dying
    but you keep lying and complying because it's terrifying and—
    [lute strumming]
    Did I just hear...Lord...ah...Dolan roll–roll in?
    Hello, yes, it is I, Lord Dolan
    Just wanted to stop and sing Kristaps here a little cheer-up song
    Oh, how delightful and exciteful
    [clears throat]
    Here we go
    [lute playing]
    [singing] Better find a sept
    [singing] A good place to cry
    [singing] 'Cause we're not going to tank or play Frank Ntilikina 'cause Mudiay's our guy
    [singing] Better find a sept
    [singing] A good place to pray for all your sins
    [singing] Will I overpay Trey Burke?
    [singing] Or let him walk away like Jeremy Lin (that jerk!)
    [singing] And Oakley is still not welcome back
    [singing] Maybe I'll re-sign Jarrett Jack
    [singing] Hell, I'll pay the luxury tax
    [singing] to give Tyreke Evans a max five-year contract
    [singing] Ooo!
    [singing] I should bring Isiah Thomas back,
    [singing] and the small one, too, for a longer deal
    [singing] I think Elfrid Payton is the next Bradley Beal
    All right, Krislaps Porzmingis
    Time for you to hurry up and heal
    A little birdie told me Fizdale hates his European big men
    Talk to you later, buddy
    See you in Lithuania
    Where's Oakley? I want to kick him!
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