Alfred Hitchcock gives 1968 UC Santa Cruz commencement speech

Alfred Hitchcock gives 1968 UC Santa Cruz commencement speech
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    Vice-president Wellman, Chancellor Mchenry, faculty, students of the
    University of California at Santa Cruz, guests, and fellow classmates... Would often
    they say that when a man drowns his entire life flashes before his eyes
    I am indeed fortunate I'm having that same experience without even getting my
    feet wet first of all I wish to express my deep appreciation for this honor it
    makes me feel very proud indeed it is especially meaningful because I'm among
    such a distinguished gathering during the next few minutes as I fear Cissy I
    shall probably make quite a number of references to myself and to my pictures
    I trust because of the circumstances you will excuse this immodesty I have
    labored in the bizarre business of making films for 40 years there have
    been ups and downs battles won and lost I would like to recall only one of the
    latter some years ago I made a movie called North by Northwest during a scene
    on Mount Rushmore I wanted Cary Grant to hide in Lincoln's
    nostril
    and then he should have a fit of sneezing the Parks Commission of the
    Department of Interior was rather upset of this thought I argued until one of
    their number asked me how would I like it if they had Lincoln play the scene in
    Cary Grant's nose I saw their point of once in my years in the film business I
    have survived the silent films talked his the narrow screen the widescreen 3d
    the drive-in movie the in-flight movie television and so on I began as a writer
    then became successively op director director producer and now the climax of
    my career after luncheon speaker
    I think I shall avail myself of the remainder of the time given me to
    acquaint you with the person to whom you have given this honor who is this man
    who is the real Alfred Hitchcock I shall begin by correcting several
    misconceptions about myself which have grown up over the years it is high time
    I set the record straight first of all there seems to be a widespread
    impression that I am stamped I can see you share my amusement of this obvious
    distortion of the truth this story began over 40 years ago as you may know I make
    a brief appearance in each of my pictures one of the earliest of these
    was the larger story of Jack the Ripper my appearance called for me to walk up
    the stairs of a rooming house since my war comes in subsequent pictures would
    be equally strenuous boarding buses playing chess etc I asked for a stuntman
    the casting Department with an unusual lack of perception hired this fat man
    the rest is history he became the public image of Hitchcock
    changing the image was impossible therefore I had to conform to the image
    it has not been easy as you know I still remain a prisoner of the old image they
    say that inside every fat man is a thin one trying desperately to get out now
    you know the thin man is the real Alfred Hitchcock then there is that dreadful
    story but I hate actors imagine anyone hate him say a nice man like Jimmy
    Stewart I can't think how such a rumor began of course at me possibly because I
    was once quoted as saying that actors are cattle my actor friends know I would
    never be capable of such a vocalist rude and unfeeling remark that I would never
    call them cattle what I probably said was that actors should be treated like
    cattle
    it has also been whispered about that I hate television commercials
    once again I plead not guilty I love them
    oh I readily admit they're noisy nauseating ridiculous Dow boring and
    tasteless but so many other things including after luncheon speakers the
    difference and herein lies the reason I love commercials the difference is that
    one can turn them off this is an epoch-making breakthrough in the entire
    history of sad ism the television commercial is the only
    instance where man has invented a torture and then provided the victim
    with a means of escape what is interesting is that so few people avail
    themselves of the opportunity the public things I've been getting away with
    murder for 40 years but am I really unscathed I hope you never forget that
    it can be a very sordid business I think it is now obvious that the real
    Hitchcock is almost totally different from the public image I only hope that
    having learned this you do not feel you have given this honor to the wrong
    you
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