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How to Increase Your Confidence Around Confident People - Ask Liebs Returns!

How to Increase Your Confidence Around Confident People - Ask Liebs Returns!
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    hey folks welcome back to Ask Liebs I'm Matt Lieberman and today we have an
    email from a Lieberfriend. I'm really excited to bring this show back even if
    just for a little bit because it does matter to me it gets me excited to help
    people that's what this show has always been about
    it's what Ask Liebs has always been about. When I ended the show a few years
    ago, I was not in a good place, and I hadn't really been in a good place for a
    little bit. This last year I've done a lot of personal growth. In short, I needed
    some time away to just be with me and my family and my animals and now I feel
    like I can come back to you and do something good. Something awesome.
    Something positive, something fun. So I'm gonna be doing this for a few weeks,
    answering some questions and then in May I'm gonna be making a big announcement
    about where my life and my career and my passion are taking me and I really hope
    that you'll be excited to come along for the ride with me. I also just turned 30
    yesterday. I feel like 30 is a great opportunity to take stock of who you are
    where you've been and where you're going. For anyone who is not in their 20s or
    just started their 20s and they're like freaking out, um, justified. I do think
    looking back on my 20s that the back half is a lot better than the first half.
    I feel so very old now and I'm very excited about that. I don't really like
    going out after 10 p.m. I wear sleep masks to bed, that's how old I am. So the
    kinds of questions were gonna be answering on these 10 episodes of Ask
    Liebs, which there are still some questions available, some room available
    if you want to send me questions you can send them as always to Matt Lieberman
    official at we're answering positive questions we're
    answering questions about achieving your dreams especially if you're creative or
    you're working on YouTube or social media or something like that. I want to
    try to share all this experience that I have working at something like SourceFed
    with all of you and I feel like this is a great way for me to do that. So today's
    question is not social media or YouTube related but I still think it is a great
    question to kick us off. Oh I'm getting that old rhythm back and that's a laptop
    here I got the phone right there we're about to read a question from a
    Lieberfriend. hi my name is Lieberfriend and I just started a new job as
    an educator for a museum / planetarium like seriously just started today was my
    second day. oh crap that's like real fresh! this is my first
    job in education I just graduated University and most of my co-workers
    have been there a long time and are great at what they do. I know I have the
    skill to do the job but starting a new adventure is terrifying!
    I understand. do you have any advice on how I can move forward into this new
    chapter my professional life with confidence? you mentioned also starting
    some new career moves so I feel like we are in similar boats. thanks for your
    time, can't wait for new new videos, Lieberfriend. oh man ok we are in very similar
    boats! the best lesson I ever learned about being in the workplace and and it
    made me feel more comfortable, I learned when I was 22 and I was an intern at MTV,
    and there was an assistant there who was 31. He told me that everybody is a
    student every day of their life, nobody has it figured out,
    nobody knows everything. even somebody who's been in your job for a decade, he's
    still learning new things about that job because also the job is always changing
    because technology is always changing, culture is always changing, management is
    always changing, so there there will never be a time where you will be
    completely 100% knowledgeable about your field or your position or anything and
    that might seem a little scary, right? but when you think about it all those people
    that you're like oh my god they know everything about everything, they don't!
    they just know enough to be able to get through the day. you're only on your
    second day. it's gonna be a few months before you feel confident enough to be
    like, "oh, duties? I got em. oh what's that, a meeting? swish! I got it! ain't no
    problem." it's okay to not feel confident because a lot of people don't. there's
    always going to be a part of you that's a little scared, and not just scared of
    failure but also scared of success. it's very normal, it's very human to feel that
    fear and I don't think that the solution is I need to expunge the fear. "I need to
    be fearless." because I think that's unrealistic. I think what's important is
    to know yourself well enough to be like "hey I'm not feeling confident right now.
    what's going on with me? where is this coming from? and remember I'm good at my
    job. I'm good enough and smart enough that I've got my job right out of
    university. I deserve to be here." you may even want to like write this stuff down.
    write it down in a journal or in your phone, or one thing that Denisse recommended to me
    which has been so useful is record yourself saying some things you
    have it, so you can play it back when you need it tell yourself the positive
    truths about yourself. so that you have them when you need to hear it and if
    you're having like a moment of panic, if you're having a moment of self-doubt, you
    can give that part of your brain that moment and then say okay I'm done with
    you, I need to move on with my day. you get to have five minutes. give it
    five minutes of your time and then push forward. A Lieberfriend who emailed me
    recently just reminded me that one thing that I used to say a lot on this show is
    that happiness is a battle. you are fighting every day to feel good, because I don't
    think it's always natural or normal to feel good. I feel like the world is so
    overwhelming that it's hard to just feel okay. there's always something that needs
    to get done, right? I feel like confidence is very similar. confidence is a battle. the
    more positive messages you can give yourself about what you do that's good,
    and the more you celebrate the victories, even small ones, the easier it is to
    fight that battle every day.
    Build yourself a ritual that you can go to
    every day or maybe every time you accomplish a task or accomplish
    something so if you are feeling like you are not confident enough in your job and
    your ability to accomplish it when you have something important to do,
    don't focus on the thing and whether or not it's going to be good enough. it is
    gonna be good enough, because you're doing it. focus instead on something
    positive that you get to do as soon as that thing is done. I get to go walk my
    dog. I get to go on a date with my partner. I get to watch my favorite show.
    I get to go drive over that hill at sunset
    where it's so beautiful and I'm gonna pull off on the side road I'm gonna
    watch the sunset. I'm gonna listen to my favorite song. I'm gonna eat a f---ing
    ice cream! whatever it is, whatever that thing is that's gonna bring you joy and
    that is gonna be a reward for you reward yourself just for getting in there and
    kicking a$$. I don't think the issue is about confidence and whether or not
    other people are confident and secure. what we are trying to do on a daily
    basis is give ourselves the freedom to just do the thing and succeed. I think
    the act of accomplishing is what gets so scary,
    and even if you are just accomplishing being at work for a day when you don't
    know everybody and you don't know everything can be scary, but don't make
    your day about that. make it about the positive thing you're gonna do for you,
    whether it's reading a book or having an ice cream or going biking or whatever it
    is. make the day about something positive! give yourself freedom to enjoy your life
    and I promise you you're gonna feel a lot better.
    so that's it folks I hope
    that you, lieberfriend, got a lot out of this. I hope the rest of you got a lot
    out of this! there are gonna be nine more episodes of this show and then we're
    gonna be moving into uncharted waters. I hope you come back for everything. we're
    gonna be here Mondays and Thursdays at noon pacific standard time so i hope you
    come and enjoy all the videos! please continue to send me your questions
    there's still room for a few more before we wrap up. i'm Lieberman and thanks guys,
    have an amazing day. oh and hey if you're not subscribed, why don't you subscribe?
    and also maybe leave me a comment down below. let me know how you feel about
    this advice and also let me know how you found this video. are you a subscriber?
    did it pop up in your recommended? Did it pop up along the side? Did a friend tell you
    about it? I really want to know and I'm gonna be down the comments too, chatting
    with you so thanks everybody take care!
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