How to Confront a Cheating Spouse

How to Confront a Cheating Spouse
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    - If you suspect that your spouse is having an affair,
    You know, the first thing I would do
    would be to try to make sure
    that you know as much as you can before you confront them,
    rather than just making an accusation that they deny.
    You might want to call a pastor or a friend, a godly friend,
    someone that will help you to make good decisions,
    and not someone who will just be on your side,
    and maybe not giving you the best of advice.
    I would be in an accountable atmosphere,
    but also someone who can keep things quiet,
    'cause you don't want to spread
    a bunch of rumors prematurely.
    If you know that your spouse is having an affair,
    sometimes you might suspect it,
    but sometimes you know it.
    And the warning signs are
    there's problems in the relationship,
    they seem distant, they're gone,
    and it's unexplained where they are,
    they keep making excuses,
    you know, I was here or I was there,
    but it's unsubstantiated,
    looking better, losing weight, buying new underwear,
    wearing better perfume or cologne,
    just overall making, their appearance looks different,
    in other words, they're dating someone,
    they're in a relationship with someone,
    and this is not what they were doing with you,
    and it's not something that they're doing for you,
    you can tell something's going on,
    but as much as you can, get as many facts as you can,
    and then confront them.
    And just ask them,
    I know some people who in some circumstances,
    rent a private investigator and have them follow them,
    and see where they go, and see what they do.
    Sometimes that might be necessary.
    But the most important thing is to rescue the relationship.
    You know, when a person has an affair,
    Jesus said Matthew 19,
    if a man divorces his wife, except for adultery.
    Sex is the covenant seal of marriage,
    and sex creates our marriage,
    our marriage is actually created,
    not the wedding ceremony, that's a part of it.
    When you have sex after marriage,
    you consummate the marriage,
    which means you consummate the covenant.
    Well, if sex with your spouse makes marriage,
    sex with someone else can break that covenant.
    Now it doesn't mean you have to divorce someone
    who's had an affair.
    What it means is,
    sex is the essence of the bond that we share together,
    and when your spouse has cheated on you,
    it strikes at the deepest place you can strike
    in a person's life.
    So, if you believe that your spouse is having an affair,
    put some godly people around you who can be discrete,
    get as many facts as you can get,
    you know, maybe you have to hire a private eye,
    if you believe that your spouse is lying to you.
    There are warning signs that I just mentioned.
    And then, you confront.
    And if your, you confront your spouse and they deny it,
    then, you know, if you believe them,
    you just go back to where you were,
    if you don't believe them,
    you've got to be prepared to take it to the next level,
    which means that maybe, in a severe circumstance,
    you move out or they move out,
    and you have to determine
    you know, where this relationship is going to go,
    if you really believe they're having an affair,
    and they won't admit it.
    But you have to have good information,
    you have to have more than just suspicion,
    you have to have some good information.
    So get the best information you can get,
    put the best people around you you can get,
    and then just be prayerful,
    and be praying with some people around you,
    that God will guide you in this.
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