NRA members, we're calling on you to break free from the NRA
and join Scientology instead.
Scientology can fill all the holes in your soul
that the NRA currently does.
It will bless you with fear, power
fantasies, a creepily ageless leader, and merch.
Is Scientology safe?
Of course not.
But it's, like, safer for the rest of us.
So if it keeps you from feeling like you
need to load up on AR-15s, then hail Xenu or whatever the fuck.
Who needs a rifle to defend themselves when as an OT7
you could blow someone away with your brain?
[POOF] That's the stopping power of Scientology.
I know you like to be part of something small
and universally disrespected.
So why not try Scientology?
Because if you volunteer to be Kirstie Alley's boat slave,
at least you're only hurting yourself.
Alt-Right Killers | March 7, 2018 Act 2 | Full Frontal on TBS The NRA is a Cult | March 7, 2018 Act 1 | Full Frontal on TBS Doug Bruce Ruined Colorado | March 7, 2018 Act 3 | Full Frontal on TBS Again? Again. | Full Frontal with Samantha Bee | TBS NRA TV: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) A Totally Real, 100% Valid Theory | Full Frontal with Samantha Bee | TBS A Penis PSA | October 11, 2017 | Full Frontal on TBS Jimmy Kimmel's Oscars 2018 Opening Monologue Finnish Fake News | October 11, 2017 Act 3 | Full Frontal on TBS Cooper challenges NRA spokesperson: What if Obama made these claims?